Cruel Gamer PC Video Game Reviews For Adults!

Random acts Of Violence
As I may have previously posted (How should I know, I write it more than I read it.) I am currently reviewing Assassins Creed. While things are progressing, the pace in painstakingly slow. To cheer myself along I have descended into homicidal rampaging.

Exceptional Element
The ability to roam through the streets ruthlessly slicing people into shreds is perhaps one of the greatest joys of the game so far. Even better is imagining the mobs of clones haplessly wandering to their dooms where members of the games development team. I hate to be this way but the rewards the game offers in the way of new weapons is not enough for the trouble you go through to get them.

Better Bloodshed Through Cheating
Creed is using the staggered approach of delivering content. Doling it out little by little forcing you to walk through the storyline. I so badly want a cheat code right now! But NO i will not stoop so low. If this is how the game wants me to explore it then for better or for worse I must soldier through it.

Better Reviews Through Suffering
There would be no passion to my writing if I didn't experience games how they were intended to be played. Perhaps it's simply a matter of experiencing as much of a title as I can before passing judgment on it. Even though I fantasize about stabbing the creators of the staggered content system through the neck, that doesn't mean that I do not respect them. It takes a lot of talent and time to create gaming software.

Being Unbiased Sucks
Sure you might think this is a good angle for me. Pretending to be the one honest person on the internet reviewing games. Well it's an uphill battle, on the one hand I would like to be showered with riches for writing witty prose. On the other hand a game I don't like just brings out the ugliest side of my pen imaginable.

If I Just Played The game
Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and write glowing reviews in order to move right along to the next title. If only to be a mission able to type out perfect search engine optimized reviews and reseller links that brought in enough money to quit the day job.

Bring On The Booze
There is one thing to say about game testing though. Just when you think a game is not your style and you will never like it. Just when your about to put a title down in despair. There is booze, yes this is definitely going to be the crutch i hobble upon to get through Creed. So bottoms up and the review is on it's way.