Cruel Gamer PC Video Game Reviews For Adults!

Phrase Of The Day
“You Cannot Trust The Word Of A Snake Which Even In Death Produces Venom”
Todays play test was very challenging indeed. The assassination mission to kill William of Acre is well put together and difficult to pull off without a glitch. Without giving away any spoilers, notes for todays play test are below.

Ah beautiful Acre, can't wait to start phase 6 of my killing spree in this berg!

New Investigation Mission
Found a new investigation mission so far that makes four. Interrogation, Pickpocketing, Stealth Assassination, And the new one is merchant stand destruction derby. Well its just merchant stand destruction but I like my title better. Essentially you have to destroy a series of stalls the best way you can. The recommended method is tossing people into them but you could just as easily jump off a tall building and crash through them. So far I have only gotten timed versions of this mission, which make it quite difficult. It's not easy to toss people through stands as you cant control where they land while in mid throw.

If only I could use my sword to chop this stand down, perhaps I would get somewhere.

Dumbest Kill Move
We all know by now that Altair is a truly super bad ass but did you know that he can kill just by pushing someone twice? Yes it's true and as unbelievable as it seems the tactic is quite useful if you want to dispatch an enemy in a comical way. The resulting deaths are amusing, ranging from enemies falling off buildings to crashing into and destroying collidable structures.

Stupid Beggars
It's understood that the beggars exist in the game just to get in your way but for some reason the AI for them is a bit idiotic. For instance today I fell off a rooftop and everyone around was shocked. Everyone that is except for the beggar, she ran over to me and started begging as usual. I understand her entire family is sick and dying but damn shes not even acting human anymore

No wench! For the Nth time I don't have any money. For GOD sakes learn to pickpocket like me!

Master Of Disguise
For a while it bothered me why nobody ever stopped Altair and questioned him since he's pretty notorious and all. Then I figured it out, he is dressed as a scholar and as such is allowed free reign throughout all parts of the city. Uh, Yea about that. Well after the first few assassinations certainly someone might go, “Gosh I think I saw a scholar right before X was killed, perhaps we should be on the lookout for assassins posing as scholars!” Of course such rational thinking never prevails in this game and your free to just pretend to be scholarly. Of particular use is just walking up to a guard and stabbing them in the vitals.

Fidgety Hopity
Just noticed something peculiar about Altair, if he's idle and just standing about he does something quite strange. He fidgets, but in an unusual way. It's hard to describe, basically he bends his knees and jerks back up really quickly. He looks like some sort of heroine addict in need of a fix extra bad!

Rank 6 Weakest Benefit Yet
The preceding 5 ranks all gave neat new tactics and weapons this rank is a big let down. I was expecting some new awesome move but instead I was given extra throwing knives! This is not something that I was expecting especially after finishing the hardest assassination mission to date. This is total crap! I invested several hours of the day just for extra throwing knives . . .

The head chief in charge of Acre doesn't look so bloody tough, bloody but not tough! :)

In Conclusion
Today was another mixed bag. I am pleased that the game was more difficult but I am left feeling jaded about the final reward. In addition to this I also despise the fact that many of the things that made today so interesting have been features that could have made the game more exciting if included earlier. Several of the acrobatic moves would have been better off pushed to the front of the game instead of accessed later.